we're the thing that love destroys.
full name: Alexandra Noelle Bayne nicknames: Alex, Al date of birth: March 6, 1989 (25) residence: Hawthorn, Washington occupation: Tattoo Artist orientation: Kinsey 3 status: Emotionally Unavailable

Who does your family consist of?  How many siblings do you have?

In my family, you've got the hierarchy in my Ma, Teresa, and my father, Nathan. Among the peasants, you have myself and my off-screen body double, Caine. I've only ever had the one sibling. I'm pretty sure my parents realized we were too much of a handful to add on another.

What kind of pets do you have?

I have a tiny turtle hatchling named Shelldon Koopa.

Which Hawthorn neighborhood do you live in?

Hawthorn Square.

Do you live alone?

It seems to work out better, yeah.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I'm starting to believe there is no such thing as perfect happiness. I'm a big fan of what imperfect happinesses I have found in life. Being surrounded by good friends that are basically family, a cold beer in my hand, having a day of no responsibilities  --  I think those could all add up to make as perfect a happiness as a person can get.

What's your relationship like with your parents?  If you don't have one, explain.

I'm pretty close with my Ma. I try to call her at least once a week. Let's just say my father and I don't see eye to eye.

What does your ideal weekend or day off look like?

I probably wouldn't be leaving my bed, if I'm being honest. It looks like fluffy pillows, soft sheets, and someone bringing me my meals.

What do you regret most about your time in high school?

I didn't work too hard. That's a common thing, right? My grades could've been better, and college might've been a real possibility. Other than that, I can't say there's anything I'd change.

What word or words do you overuse the most?

Definitely all forms of profanity. I start a lot of sentences with the word 'well.' I also like to call people 'dude' and 'man' on a regular basis.

What fictional character do you most relate to and why?

I'm going with Liz Lemon. I never felt like I fit that stereotypical 'female' mold. I can be a pretty awkward person, the kind that never knows when a conversation should have ended or when to stop talking to avoid an overshare. She also tends to waver on the side of horrible when it comes to relationships, and I can definitely commiserate with that.

How would you like to die?

In a blaze of glory. Bonus points if it's caught on YouTube.


There was nothing special about the way Alexandra Bayne made her appearance into the world. Two minutes shy of being the first Bayne twin, her eyes were wide open and tiny fingers were balled into amateur fists, but she arrived without a fuss.

For the first several years of her life, Alex and Caine were inseparable. Where one could be found, the other was never far behind. She preferred his rough and tumble adventures to the pretend play of the girls she had encountered in their neighborhood. It wasn't until the twins entered kindergarten that Caine began to earn a heavier dose of attention from their parents. He had talent, athletically and academically, while Alex struggled to do even the simplest of things in either arena. In the beginning, Caine still included his sister in all that he could, but his attempts became more and more sparse as the pair grew older.

She quickly learned that it took negative behavior to gain the attention of her parents. As early as age twelve, she began to dye her hair eccentric color combinations and doodle Sharpie tattoos all over herself wherever she could reach. By sixteen, Alex had so heavily rebelled against her parents' rules that Nathan no longer allowed her to live in their home. This development did very little to douse her spirits, however, and Alex worked as many hours as possible until she could afford an apartment of her own rather than surf one friend's couch after another.

Eighteen was the year that Alex graduated high school and, shortly thereafter, earned an apprenticeship at a Seattle-based tattoo shop called Under the Needle. Art, to Alex, was the only actual talent that she had. Becoming a tattoo artist was nowhere close to the career that she had envisioned for herself, but she had found her niche.